Dealing with childhood traumas that become adult traumas

WEBVTT 1 00:00:01.679 --> 00:00:04.480 Welcome back. Welcome back, cousins and King folks. It is a new 2 00:00:04.599 --> 00:00:08.320 episode of your favorite Podcast, a mind currently on the construction. I am 3 00:00:08.359 --> 00:00:11.880 your host, oldest. Thank you so much for joining us today. This 4 00:00:12.039 --> 00:00:15.919 is a bonus episode. I did is this is technically not your second episode 5 00:00:15.960 --> 00:00:20.280 for this week, but this is a bonus episode with just a little something 6 00:00:20.320 --> 00:00:23.559 on my mind and I just want to take us, take an opportunity to 7 00:00:23.640 --> 00:00:28.239 stop through, talk to my cousins and kin folks, just share a little 8 00:00:28.239 --> 00:00:30.800 bit with you. You know how I do sometimes, y'all. It's stuff 9 00:00:30.839 --> 00:00:33.439 bey on my mind. I just got to get it out. So who 10 00:00:33.520 --> 00:00:37.560 do I come talk to now? Come talk to Y'all, my people, 11 00:00:37.600 --> 00:00:41.960 my folks, my community, my cousins and kid folks, and currently on 12 00:00:42.039 --> 00:00:46.200 the construction listing audience. Y'All know y'all, my people and I love y'All. 13 00:00:49.359 --> 00:00:52.840 Yeah, Um, just a few things just has been on my mind. 14 00:00:52.880 --> 00:00:56.439 I just wanted to run across, but I want to propose a question 15 00:00:56.520 --> 00:01:03.280 to you all. So this is what I want to ask. Dude, 16 00:01:03.599 --> 00:01:14.519 the childhood traumas turn into don't Trumpa I'm come back and say that a kid 17 00:01:15.040 --> 00:01:26.359 just childhood traumas. In turn, turning to adult trump. Now, most 18 00:01:26.400 --> 00:01:29.840 of us, I can't say all of us, I have no specific da 19 00:01:30.000 --> 00:01:33.480 Aida to back this up on. We just going from straight common sense, 20 00:01:33.560 --> 00:01:37.000 y'all. Y'All know how we do y'all know how we do things, I 21 00:01:37.040 --> 00:01:42.920 said. But most of us have gone through some type of trauma, and 22 00:01:42.959 --> 00:01:51.680 I childhood life, whether it's as. If you know what that means, 23 00:01:51.760 --> 00:01:53.120 then you know what it means. If you don't, we just going to 24 00:01:53.159 --> 00:01:59.599 leave there where it is. Whether there's that, whether it's child abuse, 25 00:02:00.959 --> 00:02:07.120 whether it's mental abuse, whether it's emotional abuse, whether this one of these 26 00:02:07.159 --> 00:02:16.680 situations that there is a generational curse that seems to be going down from generation 27 00:02:16.759 --> 00:02:22.280 to generation that hadn't been broken. All of us have experienced some type of 28 00:02:22.439 --> 00:02:30.000 trauma as a chill, as a child, whether it was by our family, 29 00:02:30.360 --> 00:02:36.120 by a loved one, by a friend, someone around a community, 30 00:02:36.479 --> 00:02:44.759 a teacher or even a stranger. But do those traumas in turn become adult 31 00:02:44.840 --> 00:02:57.400 TRAUMAS or adult issues? Personally, I think it does. I think if 32 00:02:57.479 --> 00:03:02.319 these these these TRAUMAS aren't dealt with, it can become it can in turn 33 00:03:02.400 --> 00:03:09.879 become the can be in turn become a problem. For example, if you 34 00:03:09.879 --> 00:03:15.159 were born in my generation, and I do think I'm a part of generation 35 00:03:15.680 --> 00:03:22.000 X. I'm not a baby boomer, I'm not that old. Definitely not 36 00:03:22.080 --> 00:03:25.800 a generation why or millennial. I'm too old for that. But I do 37 00:03:25.879 --> 00:03:30.639 but think the generation x will be those that were born between nineteen sixty five 38 00:03:30.680 --> 00:03:35.159 and, I believe, nineteen seventy nine or nineteen eighty seventy four. Baby, 39 00:03:35.439 --> 00:03:38.039 you know how we do. My I still think my generations is one 40 00:03:38.080 --> 00:03:40.080 of the best. But you know, hey, I'm biased. I'm biased. 41 00:03:40.240 --> 00:03:46.479 If a generations say there's it's the best, I'm biased. Suit me. 42 00:03:47.840 --> 00:03:51.360 That will be another topic. That, I'll be another subject and that'll 43 00:03:51.400 --> 00:03:53.360 be a for debate. Also, we're going to definitely have somebody on with 44 00:03:53.439 --> 00:03:59.719 us to debate there, because I have a friend that seems to debate which 45 00:03:59.800 --> 00:04:03.479 generation is the best. They feel that there's is, but again, that's 46 00:04:03.639 --> 00:04:08.960 that's another subject. That's another topic for another day. Will come back to 47 00:04:09.039 --> 00:04:13.800 that. But Um, if you are boring around in my generation or your 48 00:04:13.840 --> 00:04:16.560 close to my age right, and I do even feel the generation after mine, 49 00:04:17.199 --> 00:04:21.800 they have the same mindset because they went through something similar. But we 50 00:04:23.160 --> 00:04:27.879 again, are not spoken on this before. We if something happened to you, 51 00:04:28.000 --> 00:04:32.040 it was never dealt with or disgusted or even talked about. A lot 52 00:04:32.040 --> 00:04:41.279 of times these things were either overlooked, swept up under the rug, not 53 00:04:41.399 --> 00:04:45.800 talked about all. You just told straight up and look, stop being plunking, 54 00:04:45.879 --> 00:04:50.720 you just be a man and you don't you know whatever. But these 55 00:04:50.720 --> 00:04:55.319 things were never dealt with. So, especially as boys, you know, 56 00:04:55.399 --> 00:04:58.480 and her, you know, you what's out to you had to be tough. 57 00:04:58.519 --> 00:05:02.040 You couldn't show your emotion. You can show your feelings, you know. 58 00:05:02.160 --> 00:05:06.000 You couldn't cry or anything like that, because that was a sign of 59 00:05:06.079 --> 00:05:11.519 weakness. So you had to be hard and tough and any and everything that 60 00:05:11.560 --> 00:05:15.879 you did regardless if it hurt you or not. And that's just that's it's 61 00:05:15.920 --> 00:05:20.199 a check the way of thinking. But this is how we were conditioned. 62 00:05:20.839 --> 00:05:28.000 I mean not just even by family members, but just by our environment and 63 00:05:28.000 --> 00:05:32.879 our surroundings as such. You know, our our girls, we would tell 64 00:05:32.920 --> 00:05:35.439 they were out to be. You had to be cute, you got to 65 00:05:35.439 --> 00:05:39.639 find a husband, you got to do x, Y Z and everything like 66 00:05:39.720 --> 00:05:43.480 that, and you're not successful less you find a husband that makes money and 67 00:05:43.839 --> 00:05:46.879 is this or is that? And again, and you are girl and you 68 00:05:46.920 --> 00:05:50.800 were, you supposed to be frail and whatever the case may be. And 69 00:05:51.160 --> 00:05:58.600 as far from the truth. A lot of these things that we were raised 70 00:05:58.600 --> 00:06:02.480 in in my generation as far from the truth. So like if you I 71 00:06:02.519 --> 00:06:06.360 got punched in the chest as a kid and it miss hurt, muther of 72 00:06:06.439 --> 00:06:09.800 not to win out of me. So the first thing that I would sit 73 00:06:09.879 --> 00:06:14.120 there and told was, I'll suck it up. You A man, get 74 00:06:14.199 --> 00:06:16.639 up to just punch me in my chest. You just punch me in my 75 00:06:16.720 --> 00:06:26.759 died fram that miss hurt. But again, weren't allowed to be shown weakness. 76 00:06:26.879 --> 00:06:34.480 You weren't allowed to say that hurt. A lot of us even were 77 00:06:36.120 --> 00:06:45.720 exposed or two things that may have hurt US emotionally from my family and I 78 00:06:45.759 --> 00:06:50.079 loved ones, but we weren't allowed to speak about it because, again, 79 00:06:50.199 --> 00:06:57.279 if you were around my generation or after or before, you were told children 80 00:06:57.360 --> 00:07:04.000 to be seen and not heard. So as a child, you did have 81 00:07:04.120 --> 00:07:08.519 a voice to not let me not only to speak up for yourself, but 82 00:07:08.680 --> 00:07:14.240 to say something was wrong, but it was it way, but it was 83 00:07:14.319 --> 00:07:20.839 contradictory, because you were told in one breath, hey if somebody does something 84 00:07:20.879 --> 00:07:25.279 to you, you come told me, you come tell me about it, 85 00:07:25.720 --> 00:07:30.120 and then in another breath you were told you a child, you to be 86 00:07:30.240 --> 00:07:45.240 seen and not heard. That's confusing. That's confusing. But those things in 87 00:07:45.279 --> 00:07:49.879 turn carry over because now you've been condition to some of these things, in 88 00:07:49.920 --> 00:07:56.920 these traumas as a kid and even though some of these things that you move 89 00:07:56.959 --> 00:08:01.480 past as an adult or the older you've gotten, but they affect you in 90 00:08:01.560 --> 00:08:09.639 so many different other ways. Sometimes we realize it and sometimes we don't. 91 00:08:09.959 --> 00:08:16.800 Sometimes they come out of US wrong because you can be, have been, 92 00:08:16.839 --> 00:08:22.279 may have been made to feel that you can protect yourself or you had no 93 00:08:22.399 --> 00:08:28.839 way to or anything as a child, and then that in turn becomes anger. 94 00:08:30.199 --> 00:08:41.159 Then that anger becomes rage and it can test go out of control as 95 00:08:41.200 --> 00:08:46.440 an adult. Now, I'm not saying that happens or to fix everybody that 96 00:08:46.559 --> 00:08:54.919 way. I'm just giving it a sample. It could, it couldn't turn 97 00:08:54.960 --> 00:09:03.159 flip into something much worse. There's one of things I say. Some childhood 98 00:09:03.159 --> 00:09:07.519 TRAUMAS can become adult traumas or things that you may have had to push down 99 00:09:09.840 --> 00:09:13.039 deep inside of you to be able to deal with or move past. But 100 00:09:13.120 --> 00:09:22.639 they're still there because we weren't taught to properly deal with them, or you 101 00:09:22.720 --> 00:09:26.399 may just had to figure out that best. What that you can deal with 102 00:09:26.480 --> 00:09:28.440 it is push it down, hold it. They're put it at the back 103 00:09:28.480 --> 00:09:37.159 of your mind and keep it pushing. But any but we know that anything 104 00:09:39.240 --> 00:09:43.720 too much of it or apply too much pressure, something's going to happen and 105 00:09:43.840 --> 00:09:50.000 change those saying goes pressure buses a pipe. But regardless if whatever that presses, 106 00:09:50.000 --> 00:09:54.000 where it's water pressure, where it's air pressure, anything, if it 107 00:09:54.080 --> 00:09:58.320 has nowhere to go, if you pushed it down a constantly kept pushing it 108 00:09:58.360 --> 00:10:03.879 down and it has nowhere to go, it's going to have to come out 109 00:10:05.120 --> 00:10:11.039 somewhere and it's going to cut and when it comes out it's going to damage 110 00:10:11.080 --> 00:10:15.919 whatever it's in. If you feel, if you feel a glass up with 111 00:10:16.039 --> 00:10:18.639 water and there's a way that you could put their glass in and in what 112 00:10:18.799 --> 00:10:22.159 you stead at pumping water into it, but there's no way for it to 113 00:10:22.159 --> 00:10:28.600 come out. Once it feels up and you're still pumping that water in, 114 00:10:28.360 --> 00:10:35.639 guess what happens? It's going to expand. At some point it's going to 115 00:10:35.679 --> 00:10:41.399 break that glass because why it has nowhere to go and when it breaks the 116 00:10:41.519 --> 00:10:50.159 glass, what happens? That glass is now damaged. It's damaged because is 117 00:10:50.200 --> 00:10:54.759 broken, because it had anywhere to go. So it came out violently. 118 00:10:56.000 --> 00:11:16.080 It's damaged. Yeah, sometimes that's how things come out. It's not a 119 00:11:16.200 --> 00:11:26.200 crime to want to do better or break those generational curses that you have or 120 00:11:26.360 --> 00:11:37.200 to overcome those things that harmed us as children. There's no harm in that. 121 00:11:41.519 --> 00:11:43.080 It's because you are a man and a woman. I regardless of your 122 00:11:43.159 --> 00:11:48.320 age, whether you still need your s, your s, your forties or 123 00:11:48.360 --> 00:11:54.759 your S, there is no harm and wanted to deal with those things that 124 00:11:54.879 --> 00:12:00.559 you've had to overcome, that you've had to bypass, push down, deal 125 00:12:00.720 --> 00:12:05.519 with or whatever case may be, when you were a kid. There is 126 00:12:05.559 --> 00:12:13.080 no harm in wanting to get help for that. You should. You deserve 127 00:12:13.279 --> 00:12:18.840 to, because you didn't deserve those things that you went through, whatever it 128 00:12:18.879 --> 00:12:28.919 may be. I'm not pinpointing anything in specific or in particular, not at 129 00:12:28.000 --> 00:12:35.000 all. Trauma, just like some other things, not. There's not one 130 00:12:35.080 --> 00:12:41.720 any greater than the other. All are damaging to us some shape form of 131 00:12:41.799 --> 00:13:00.080 fashion. They are, but we have to stop being afraid to deal with 132 00:13:00.120 --> 00:13:03.879 those things. Oh, finding no way to deal with the mean, not 133 00:13:03.879 --> 00:13:07.360 not like we've had to to grow up, you know, and everything, 134 00:13:07.399 --> 00:13:18.559 but to talk to somebody, go see there before so in turn it's not 135 00:13:18.720 --> 00:13:24.639 passed down again inadvertently from you to one of your children, one of your 136 00:13:24.679 --> 00:13:35.240 babies. It has to stop somewhere. This is the time for us to 137 00:13:35.240 --> 00:13:41.279 break these generational curses. It's time for us to move past, to to 138 00:13:41.360 --> 00:13:46.519 be able to deal with and overcome all of these childhood traumas that most of 139 00:13:46.600 --> 00:13:54.159 us have experienced that we still are carrying around. We shouldn't have to take 140 00:13:54.200 --> 00:13:58.360 these things to the grave with us. Some of these things are are hindering 141 00:13:58.480 --> 00:14:07.960 us from having productive lives, productive relationships, raising our kids better, living 142 00:14:07.960 --> 00:14:18.720 our lives better, and it is some of us and find different ways to 143 00:14:18.799 --> 00:14:22.200 cope it, and the way that we may have had to cope before doesn't 144 00:14:22.240 --> 00:14:28.080 work in it most of then we we turn to something else. Why? 145 00:14:28.080 --> 00:14:35.080 Because we're still not dealing with it. We have to deal with these things, 146 00:14:35.120 --> 00:14:43.200 people, we have to. That's how we're going to get better as 147 00:14:43.200 --> 00:14:48.759 a people. That's how our future, which is our children, is going 148 00:14:48.840 --> 00:14:54.360 to get better once we break that cycle. But it has to start with 149 00:14:54.480 --> 00:14:58.720 us. It's not too late. As long as the most high continuous to 150 00:14:58.759 --> 00:15:03.639 give us breadth in our bodies, it is not too late for us to 151 00:15:03.879 --> 00:15:15.360 deal with these things. It's not. This was the things. Well, 152 00:15:15.399 --> 00:15:18.159 I'm too old to deal with it. Now I'm or I'm setting my ways. 153 00:15:20.159 --> 00:15:28.200 No changes inevitable to us all. I was told always the only thing 154 00:15:28.279 --> 00:15:31.639 that is constant in it, with the exception of God, the only thing 155 00:15:31.720 --> 00:15:39.559 that is constant in this world is change. Sounds Cliche, but it's true. 156 00:15:41.879 --> 00:15:46.159 That is the with the exception of God himself, that is the only 157 00:15:46.159 --> 00:15:54.799 thing in this world, on this plane of existence, that is constant change. 158 00:15:54.840 --> 00:16:02.919 And every happens, good or bad. It comes and it happens. 159 00:16:03.080 --> 00:16:11.799 It's no stopping it. Bottom line, there is no stopping it. So 160 00:16:11.879 --> 00:16:19.360 what are you going to do? Are you going to overcome dead are you 161 00:16:19.440 --> 00:16:25.360 going to overlook are you going to move past that, or you going to 162 00:16:25.440 --> 00:16:33.600 go to someone that you can talk about, deal with, overcome, move 163 00:16:33.720 --> 00:16:45.879 past and become better for you, your children, your marriage, your relationships, 164 00:16:45.960 --> 00:16:56.360 your job, in your life. Think about it here. You deserve 165 00:16:56.519 --> 00:17:06.240 that. God says he wants to live a life abundantly. How can you 166 00:17:07.839 --> 00:17:23.640 if you're still carrying around a burden of hurts from yesterday? My people, 167 00:17:23.640 --> 00:17:27.480 that's all I'm going to say on that today. Mike, I said, 168 00:17:27.480 --> 00:17:32.440 this was in irregular episode. This was something, a bonus episode for you 169 00:17:32.480 --> 00:17:37.160 all, something that was just on my mind, that I wanted to come 170 00:17:37.200 --> 00:17:41.680 talk to you all about, from a conversation that I've had previously, that 171 00:17:41.720 --> 00:17:44.799 I wanted to talk with you all about, that I wanted to share with 172 00:17:44.880 --> 00:17:52.079 you all with and I just wanted to drop something into your spirit. We 173 00:17:52.160 --> 00:18:00.920 don't have to continue to deal with it. There's help out there. Let's 174 00:18:02.000 --> 00:18:08.599 you and me and all of us cousins and kin folks have the courage in 175 00:18:08.640 --> 00:18:26.240 the conviction to break that generational curse so we can become better people in every 176 00:18:26.279 --> 00:18:33.240 aspect. I Love You, Huh and I want the best for you at 177 00:18:33.279 --> 00:18:40.960 all times, and that'll do it for this bonus episode of current on the 178 00:18:41.000 --> 00:18:42.839 construction. You know, we do this thing twice a week. Again, 179 00:18:42.920 --> 00:18:48.599 this was a bonus episode. You can listen to US wherever you get your 180 00:18:48.599 --> 00:18:52.599 podcast. Where if you listen to your podcast, remember you can listen to 181 00:18:52.680 --> 00:18:57.440 us on apple podcast, Google podcast, spotify, overcast, pocket cast, 182 00:18:57.720 --> 00:19:04.799 radio, Public Castro, I heart radio, deezer and many many other platforms. 183 00:19:04.839 --> 00:19:10.279 Again, you can listen to us on apple podcast, Google podcast, 184 00:19:10.480 --> 00:19:15.599 spotify, overcast, pocket casts, radio, Public Castro, Deezer, I 185 00:19:15.720 --> 00:19:22.559 heart radio and many many others. So again, we got a whole lot 186 00:19:22.599 --> 00:19:26.599 coming up here for you and currently under construction. Keep your ear to the 187 00:19:26.640 --> 00:19:29.920 ground and be listening in for it. You never know what I'm going to 188 00:19:30.039 --> 00:19:33.960 dropping a new dime on you all or what I have in store for you 189 00:19:33.000 --> 00:19:37.480 all coming up this summer. Be on the lookout for that. Continue to 190 00:19:37.519 --> 00:19:42.839 participate and continue to support us here at currently under construction. The way that 191 00:19:42.920 --> 00:19:47.359 you do this is only that you can. You know why? Because you 192 00:19:47.440 --> 00:19:51.599 all are my people. You know I'm ADEOL. Come on, say it 193 00:19:51.640 --> 00:19:52.839 with me. Come on now, come on, say it with me. 194 00:19:53.000 --> 00:19:57.480 Takes the village for us to do this thing, and you are all my 195 00:19:57.559 --> 00:20:03.240 village and we're going to continue to put this thing together, you and I, 196 00:20:03.799 --> 00:20:08.000 step by step, one break at a time. carmly under construction. 197 00:20:08.400 --> 00:20:14.799 I love you all. Your regular second episode will be on bit coming along 198 00:20:14.799 --> 00:20:17.279 here in a couple of days. Until then, I talk to you all 199 00:20:17.400 --> 00:20:18.240 soon. Peace,